A Filipino Applies for a Job at Wal-Mart

An office manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. .. An American, a Russian, an Australian and a Filipino. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"

Acknowledging Dave, the American on his right, the man replied, "A THOUGHT". It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of."

"That's very good!" replied the interviewer.

"And now you sir?" he asked Vladimir, the Russian."Hmm.... let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of."

"Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliche for speed." He then turned to George, the Australian who was contemplating his
reply.

"Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."

The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said.

Turning to Eleuterio, the Filipino, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question. Eleuterio replied, " Apter herring da 3 frevyos ansers sirrr, et's obyus to me dat the fastest thing known is Diarrhea."

"WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response.

"O I can expleyn serrr ." said Eleuterio . " YOU SEE SERR, DA other day I wasn't Peeeling so good and I run soo fast to the CR or bathroom, But, before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, ay 'tang ina, I already had a poo-poo in my pants.

Eleuterio is now the new "Greeter" at Wal-Mart.


FIlipino humor is hard to beat!

Fun Facts!!!

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

(Hardly seems worth it.)




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If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

(Now that's more like it!)




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The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

(O.M.G.!)




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A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.

(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)




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A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)

(I'm still not over the pig.)




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Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour

(Don't try this at home,maybe at work)




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The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex

by ripping the male's head off.

("Honey, I'm home. What the...?!")




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The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.

(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)




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The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.



(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)




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Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)




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Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Something

I always wanted to know.)




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The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

(Hmmmmmm......)




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Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.

(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)




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Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.

(okay, so that would be a good thing)




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A cat's urine glows under a black light.

(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)




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An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.



(I know some people like that.)




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Starfish have no brains

(I know some people like that too.)




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Polar bears are left-handed.

(If they switch, they'll live a lot

longer)




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Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(What about that pig??)