A Simple Plan for Advent

Six prayer habits to help us welcome Jesus into our hearts and homes

1. Go to Mass more often.

Consider whether you can clear out some time to attend as a family on certain weekdays during Advent. You might have to inconvenience yourselves a bit—get up earlier, give up a recreational activity, or have a quicker no-frills meal. Offer the sacrifice for the sake of a friend or family member who needs God's help.

2. Pray together as a family.

Experiment and find ways that work for you. Many families use an Advent wreath for mealtime or evening prayer. For a simple Advent wreath ceremony, just light the candle(s), sing "O Come, O Come, Emmanuel," and read the gospel for the day. Another idea for the season: Use an Advent calendar with Scripture verses; open a window each day of Advent, and use the verse as a springboard for prayer and discussion. Or pray with the help of a Jesse Tree: Each day of Advent, you hang an ornament that symbolizes a biblical person or thing connected with Christ's coming, and read the appropriate Scripture text. An even simpler suggestion: Pray the family rosary. Praying the joyful mysteries, especially, is a great way to get in touch with the events leading up to the world's first Christmas. Can't find time for the whole rosary? Pray one decade. I have friends, a large family, who pray a decade at the end of every dinner. Short as it is, it builds family unity and launches the evening in a peaceful, orderly way.

3. Offer short prayers during the day.

These are ideal for the times you're stuck waiting—for an elevator, for someone to pick up the phone, for the light to turn green, for a ride home from school. Just take a line from Scripture and pray it! Here are some Advent prayers you can tape to the dashboard, put on the fridge, or slip into a wallet or backpack. Use them, and teach them to your children.

"O Lord—how long?" (Psalm 6:3).

"Maranatha—Come, Lord ?Jesus" (Revelation 22:20).

"He must increase, but I must decrease" (John 3:30).

"Increase our faith" (Luke 17:5).

"Lord, let me see" (Luke 18:41).

4. Examine Your Conscience.

Every night, take a couple of minutes alone, in silence, to look back on your day in the presence of God. Remember the moments when you experienced God's help, mercy, and presence. See how well you lived up to your calling, how far you've gone on your way to the goal. During Advent, you might focus on growing in some particular virtue with an Advent connection—peacefulness, humility, charity. End by telling God you're sorry for your sins. (And, of course, confess them to a priest, as needed.)

Depending on their ages, teach your children how they can take advantage of this traditional means for growing closer to Jesus. Offer guidance, but let them develop their own conversation with the Holy Spirit.

5. Do some fasting.

Jesus fasted. The apostles fasted. We know from Scripture that fasting is a powerful form of prayer. Though this is a less penitential season than Lent, Advent fasting is an appropriate way to express our longing that God's kingdom be more fully revealed in ourselves, in others, and in our world.

Talk it over with your spouse and children, and decide on a way of fasting as a family this Advent. You can choose not to eat between meals. You can give up desserts. You can forego a favorite food or go meatless on certain days. Or you can choose a non-food item to fast from, such as TV or the Web. The important thing is to make a real sacrifice—one you can feel—and to offer it to God.

6. Make your home a haven of charity.

Give some real-life expression to the divine grace and love received in prayer. Make it a family goal to treat one another with extra mercy and courtesy. Some families put this resolution into practice by drawing names, with each member becoming another person's "Advent Angel." Secretly, each "angel" offers prayers and little acts of kindness for the other; identities are revealed on Christmas Day.

Another idea: Use Advent as a time to develop more charitable habits of speech. If your family has fallen into any negative patterns—yelling, nagging, blaming, sarcasm, fault-finding, gossiping, talking back—now's the time to regain lost ground!

And of course, Advent and Christmas are traditional seasons for expressing love through hospitality and acts of charity. A third-century Christian wrote: "It's our care of the helpless, our practice of loving kindness that brands us in the eyes of many of our opponents, who say, 'See those Christians, how they love one another.'" This striking description of the Church offers an ideal for the "domestic church" that is our family.

Remember: They'll know we are Christians—not just by the nativity scene in our front yard, but by the love in our hearts, expressed in our homes

Merry Christmas!